Struggling with Separation Anxiety? Here’s How to Cope

Separation anxiety isn’t just something kids deal with—it can hit adults just as hard. Whether it’s being apart from a loved one, a partner, a child, or even a pet, the overwhelming fear of separation can make it hard to function. I know because I’ve felt it too.

For me, separation anxiety was like carrying a constant weight in my chest. Every goodbye felt final, and I’d spiral into “what ifs” that kept me on edge. But over time, I learned how to manage it and find peace, even when I couldn’t be with the people I cared about most.

If you’re struggling with separation anxiety, know that you’re not alone—and there are ways to cope. Let me share what worked for me and how you can start feeling more in control.

What Is Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety is an intense fear of being away from someone you’re attached to. It can show up in different ways, like:

• Constantly worrying about their safety or well-being.
• Feeling panicked or helpless when apart.
• Struggling to focus on anything else.
• Avoiding situations where separation might happen.

These feelings can feel overwhelming, but they don’t define you. With the right steps, you can learn to manage them and regain your sense of calm.

How to Cope with Separation Anxiety

Coping with separation anxiety isn’t about shutting down your feelings—it’s about understanding them and building healthier ways to respond. Here’s what helped me:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

One of the hardest things for me was admitting how I felt. I’d try to brush it off or tell myself I was overreacting, but ignoring the feelings only made them worse.

What to Do:

• Take a moment to name what you’re feeling. For example: I’m scared of being apart because I care so much.
• Remind yourself that these feelings are valid, even if they’re uncomfortable.

Acknowledging your feelings is the first step toward understanding and managing them.

2. Challenge Your Thoughts

Separation anxiety feeds on “what ifs” and worst-case scenarios. For me, it was thoughts like, What if something bad happens to them? or What if they don’t come back?

What to Do:

• Ask yourself: Is this thought based on facts or fear?
• Replace fearful thoughts with reassuring ones, like: They’ve done this before, and everything was fine.

Over time, challenging these thoughts can help reduce their grip on you.

3. Stay Connected in Healthy Ways

When I was apart from someone I cared about, I’d constantly text or call for reassurance. While staying connected is important, it’s also crucial to find a balance.

What to Do:

• Set clear communication expectations. For example: We’ll check in at the end of the day.
• Use small reminders of your loved one, like a photo or a note, to feel connected without over-relying on constant communication.

4. Focus on Yourself

Separation anxiety often pulls all your attention toward the other person, leaving little space for your own needs. I learned that taking care of myself was one of the best ways to cope.

What to Do:

• Engage in activities you enjoy, like reading, exercising, or working on a hobby.
• Practice self-care, whether that’s taking a relaxing bath, meditating, or journaling.

Focusing on yourself helps shift your energy from worry to empowerment.

5. Create a “Comfort Plan”

Before a separation, I’d often spiral into fear about how I’d cope. Having a plan in place made all the difference.

What to Do:

• Write down a list of comforting activities you can turn to, like calling a friend, watching a favorite show, or going for a walk.
• Keep this list handy for moments when the anxiety feels overwhelming.

Having a plan can provide a sense of control and reassurance.

6. Practice Mindfulness

Anxiety about separation often drags you into the future, worrying about what might happen. Mindfulness helps bring you back to the present.

What to Do:

• Focus on your breath: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for six.
• Pay attention to your surroundings—what you see, hear, and feel in the moment.

Mindfulness helps calm your mind and body, making it easier to manage anxious thoughts.

7. Seek Professional Support

When separation anxiety feels too big to handle on your own, reaching out to a therapist can be a game-changer. I found that working with a professional helped me unpack the deeper fears driving my anxiety and build healthier coping strategies.

What to Do:

• Look for a therapist who specializes in anxiety or attachment issues.
• Don’t hesitate to ask for help—it’s a sign of strength, not weakness.

Why Coping Matters

Separation anxiety can make you feel like you’re at the mercy of your fears, but you’re stronger than you think. By learning to cope, you’re not just managing the anxiety—you’re building resilience and confidence. Every small step you take is a step toward freedom and peace.

Let’s Work Through This Together

If separation anxiety is taking over your life, you don’t have to face it alone. I’d love to help you find clarity, comfort, and confidence.

I’m offering a free discovery call, where we’ll:

• Explore the roots of your separation anxiety.
• Identify strategies that work for your unique situation.
• Create a personalized plan to help you feel calm and secure.

Take that first step and book your free call here. Together, we’ll work on helping you navigate separation anxiety with strength and ease.

Separation anxiety is tough, but it doesn’t have to define your life. With the right tools and support, you can find calm, even when you’re apart from the people you love. You’ve got this, and I’m here to help.